Grandma June

Not sure if anyone paid attention, but I live-tweeted throughout the Oscars (probably lost some followers because I was so chatty, and at times, rude!) and talked about the highs and the lows of the night. Here, in my personal opinion, are the BEST and WORST dressed of the evening.

TOP 5 BEST DRESSED!

1. My favorite. Absolutely STUNNING. Vera Farmiga, you killed it. This dress is all of those words you wish to hear- stunning, chic, elegant, sophisticated, sexy, classy, unique. The second I saw this piece on the red carpet, I knew I wouldn't see anything else that could top it. I would like to own one of these in every color under the sun. And I'd like to have just as many important events to attend so I could wear them all. Unbelievable. Congratulations, Vera, you nailed it.

2. Wow, Rachel McAdams, you're a babe. The silhouette of this piece is PERFECT, and I saw many dresses that tried to achieve this, but didn't quite make it there. So flowy, so graceful, SO LOVELY. And not to mention, the colors of this dress are phenomenal. This is a very close race for me between this piece, and Vera Farmiga's. Both so sexy and chic in very different ways. I would like to ballroom dance in this gown, or maybe have a photoshoot in it with those crazy Alexander McQueen shoes. Actually, I want both. Right now. Rachel Adams, you inspired me with this. Thank you.

3. Zoe Kravitz, daughter of Lenny Kravitz. Wow, hello, you are unbelievably pretty. I saw you on the red carpet, but didn't get a chance to see your dress in its entirety because your goofy, lamer-and-lamer-every-year, I'm-going-on-tour-with-U2, check-out-my-cool-sunglasses father was standing in the way. Really though, you should have given those interviews for him. You're a showstopper! This dress is simple, and effective. Pretty, pretty cream silhouette with a beautiful maroon velour bodice. Combine that with a pretty face and a slammin' body, and you've hit the nail on the hammer for me.

4. I'm not sure what I think of Demi Moore as a person (she's always seemed a little "off" to me?), and I'm actually not sure how I feel about her fashion style in general, but I love this dress. I love the color, I love the way the ruffles fall down her unbelievably (dare I say almost freakishly?) toned body, and I love the criss-cross of fabric over the bodice (similar to Rachel McAdams dress, see #2). Not crazy about her clutch or her hair, and I really dislike her shoes (hard to see them in this photo) but the dress itself works, and looks really elegant and classically pretty on her. I would like to have this piece and style it in a way to really show it off. Pshh, oh well, I don't have $12547679312 dollars so for now I'll just have to imagine.

5. Sarah Jessica Parker, my love, my girl-crush, my "teacher" regarding sex, men, and Manhattans. SJP wearing Chanel to the Oscars is an AUTOMATIC win for me. I love SJP, I love Chanel, I love this dress. This dull blonde yellow works for me in ways I never thought it could, and THE NECKLINE?! Can we just talk about the neckline for a second? Holy crap. Not only does it accentuate her super sexy collarbone and neck, but it is also just SO interesting, and so unique. I'm in love, help me. Must. Stop. Looking.

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Alright, I hate to do it (well, no, of course I don't), buuuuut:

TOP 5 WORST DRESSED!

1. Jennifer Lopez. Obviously. This is a no-brainer. Hey J. Lo, you are CRAZY and you clearly have NO CLUE about fashion whatsoever. Sad, really. It's not fair that she gets to walk down the red carpet and wear, excuse my language, BULLSHIT like this. I would give my right arm to walk down the red carpet, but no, it is not in the cards for me, yet nutjob Jennifer Lopez gets to, and she chooses to wear THIS. Hey J. Lo, can I borrow that dress, cut it up, and use it for packing material for my Etsy orders? Thanks.

2. Oh, Charlize. You are a total babe, and a really great actress, but this dress is, well, MOSTLY bad. I actually really love the color, and the drapes of fabric down the back, but C'MON NOW, you OBVIOUSLY knew this was a mistake, but wore it anyway. Maybe to make some sort of "statement" (although all that comes to mind here is "LOOK AT MY BREASTS!!!")? Honestly, I think this dress would be absolutely perfect (and would be in my top 5 BEST dressed list) if the "flowers" or "boob-cuppers" or "whatever-the-heck-those-things-are", were closer together. If they came around the side and touched in the middle, it would be GREAT. But because of the space in-between the breasts, it turns into two great big lavender boobies. Oh well, better luck next year, Charlize. I still like you.

3. Carey Mulligan. Carey, I think your hair and your clutch are so cute, but that dress is terrible. I'm sorry, I was really rooting for you, but you just didn't pull through for me. The fit of this dress bugs me (it bunches out in the most unflattering way at the hips), the length of this bugs me (I'll never be into that short-up-front, long-in-the-back style. Hello, mullet.), and the jewels on this bug me (cheeeesy, gaudy). Sorry, but it's a no-go. Try again.

4. Zoe Saldana, gimme a break. I mean, I don't hate it from the top down to the waist (it's actual pretty interesting and I'm a sucker for anything asymmetrical), but GIMME A BREAK! Too many shades of purple, too much fluff, horrible center slit up the front. Did Barney puke up all over you? (Sorry, had to go there.)

5. Alright, you should probably stop reading now because you, like many other of my Twitter friends, probably love Sandra "Sandy" (gag) Bullock. And you probably loved her outfit. You most likely thought to yourself, "Wow, look at her hair, that bright red lipstick, that sexy and chic gold gown, she's so 1950s! I love it!" I'm sorry (no I'm not), but I disagree. She looks like she's wearing an ice skating costume, except in gown form. SO CHEESY. And CHEAP. Baaaaaad. Cheesy, cheap, baaaad, also appropriate when describing her character in that new movie she's in. ZING! Sorry Sandy, maybe you should give it a break. Or learn how to ice skate.

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all photos came from JUST JARED.
check out my ETSY site here.

Disagree? Offended? Love it? Wanna duke it out? Email me at shopgrandmajune@gmail.com
-mandy

I live in a really special little city. Not too many people know about Portland, Maine. Or, well, they might know of it, but don't know anything about it. When people hear Portland, they usually think of Oregon, but my little city had the name Portland FIRST, and the community here is like none other. We have amazing restaurants, the most beautiful views, the loveliest people, and the greatest local music.

Valentine's Day in Portland Maine is magical. Every year, for years now, the "Valentine's Day Phantom" covers the entirety of the downtown area in hearts. He/she/they plasters the city with red paper hearts in the middle of the night, and when us Portlanders wake up in the morning, there they are. Everywhere. The city is filled with romance. The perfect Valentine's Day gift. It is one of the many things I love about this city. This year, the city is my Valentine. (Who needs men?! Hahaha!)